I wanna bring you to show and tell
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
