then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
