u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize