Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
