You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
