i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
