DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
