So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
