there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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