dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
