Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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