do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
