My room smells like vodka and shame
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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