im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize