He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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