Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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