Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
