I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
did you just send me my own nude
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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