you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
