After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
