I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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