Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
