Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
