Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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