yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
