Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize