Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
