So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
