If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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