there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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