this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
did i just pee glitter
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
