I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize