And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
