just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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