theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
