Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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