The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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