are you still at the devil's house?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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