Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
