now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
