I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
