I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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