I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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