yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
