That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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