They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Randomize
