do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
