dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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