out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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