I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
