So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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