I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
