A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
did you just send me my own nude
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
