new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I did not marry a roomba.
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