a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
