You made me cry and you don't even care
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
did you just send me my own nude
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
