i permit you to call me
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
