I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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